Justin Grey

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Justin Hamilton Grey (b. January 30, 1962) is a Kennyite businessman, diplomat and politician. The eldest son of former President Frank Grey, he served as governor of the state of from 2002 to 2007. He is a member of the Conservative Party, and is currently said party's candidate for vice president in the 2020 election. He was also a candidate for vice president in 2005, but lost unexpectedly to independent Antigone Morgan. Grey was a controversial figure for years after his 2006-07 annulment scandal, in which he sought (and ultimately received) the Pope's blessing to dissolve his decades-long marriage to his first wife so he could legitimately marry his 18-year-old girlfriend.

Career

In the early 1980s, when Grey's father was a wealthy senator, Justin Grey was given 5 million tree-fiddys to invest, and put it all toward stock in a company called World Wide Wickets. Within a few short weeks, Grey had somehow risen to become WWW's chairman of the board. In 1989 he resigned his position and cashed out of WWW to help fund the Kennyites' first-ever sea colony (which eventually sank into the ocean). Luckily by that time, Grey's father was considering a run for president, and Justin's interests had switched to helping him win the election. Justin was a part-time adviser to his father during his 1995-2000 term, but when Frank lost his bid for re-election, Justin began to consider starting a political career of his own. He sought the governorship of Téjas in 2002, and won (despite lacking any sort of qualifications for the job).

As it happened, two years later, Grey chose to take his unique lack of qualifications national, and entered the Conservative primaries for president in 2005. However, at the time most voters who belonged to that party had gone insane...or something, and thus nominated Manuelo Fernanda as their standard-bearer. But when Fernanda's chosen running mate, the politically independent actress and businesswoman Antigone Morgan, started to become a national embarrassment after a series of disastrous national news interviews (including one with Katie Couric), the party committee approached Grey and asked him to oppose her on the ballot. At the time the Liberal candidate, incumbent Vice President Gaylord Focker, had just been committed to a mental institution, so the committee really thought it had a chance of winning over enough Conservatives and Liberals to take the vice-presidency. However, when the soft-porn magazine Kennyboy decided the week before the election to release years-old topless photos of Morgan, she won in a walk.

A major mid-life crisis hit Grey the very next year, and he began to date 18-year-old Brianna Schultz, an Internet entrepreneur who sold a line of trendy lollipops for young women and teen girls called Baby Doll Lollis™. He wanted to marry her, but the one problem was that he was Catholic and could not do so if he divorced his current wife, Jenna. Naturally he petitioned the Vatican for a quickie annulment (even though he and Jenna had been married for twenty years and had two children together). Jenna very uncoolly elected to contest the petition, but in 2007, after months of legal wrangling, the Vatican agreed to grant Grey's request. Unfortunately Grey had forgotten that he was running for re-election as governor that year, and was pretty much laughed right out of office. Worse still, by that time Brianna had already dumped him after deciding that she did not enjoy playing with 45-year-old junk as much as she thought she did. It was cool, Grey thought; he'd just take on another shockingly young girlfriend and take her with him to Kelssek, to which he had been appointed ambassador in 2008. (Eventually the new one left him too, and ran off with a young Kelssekian dude.)

Fast-forward to 2020, where Grey is now considered to be a respected "senior statesmen" for some bizarre reason, which is why Conservative presidential nominee Jenny Chiang chose him as her running mate. Stay tuned...