Difference between revisions of "Kennyite International Mission"
m (Omigodtheykilledkenny moved page Omigodtheyclonedkenny to Kennyite International Mission) |
(pic) |
||
| Line 7: | Line 7: | ||
|image_map = Omgtclonedk.png | |image_map = Omgtclonedk.png | ||
|map_caption = Location circled in red; [[Omigodtheykilledkenny]] shaded in green | |map_caption = Location circled in red; [[Omigodtheykilledkenny]] shaded in green | ||
| − | |image_map2 = | + | |image_map2 = Harpers Bay.jpg |
| − | |map_caption2 = | + | |map_caption2 = Main Street Harpers Bay |
|region = The Rejected Realms | |region = The Rejected Realms | ||
|wa_member = | |wa_member = | ||
Revision as of 17:44, 2 June 2019
| This page is a work in progress by its author(s) and should not be considered final. |
| Kennyite International Mission | ||
|---|---|---|
| Motto: You bastards! | ||
 Location circled in red; Omigodtheykilledkenny shaded in green
|
||
 Main Street Harpers Bay
|
||
| Region | The Rejected Realms | |
| Capital and largest city | Harper's Bay | |
| Government | Local council | |
| - | Mayor | Matilda Cross |
| Population | ||
| - | 2018 estimate | 2,800 |
| Currency | free-tiddy | |
Kennyite International Mission is an independent microstate comprised solely of the tiny sub-Antarctic outpost of Harper's Island. Formerly part of the Kennyite state of Marsh Islands until gaining independence in 2018, the island nation contains a single settlement known as Harper's Bay on its east shore. An ongoing antiwar "occupation" protest has held vigil in a small tent city on the island's west shore since 2006. The protesters contend that the recognized government based on the island is a sham, and that they, the occupiers, are the rightful governors of the nation. Their claims have been consistently mocked in the Kennyite press, which has derisively dubbed them "Omigodtheyclonedkenny."
History
What is now known as Harper's Island has been an important stopover point on marine shipping routes between Mesoameranta and southern Ameranta since the Kennyites acquired its Woodlands colony in 1912. Inevitably a town emerged, around the island's eastern freshwater bay, to better serve all of the visiting seamen. However, said seamen did not prove to be the most desirable of company, and the number of assaults, petty crimes and instances of public drunkenness in the town always tripled whenever the sailors were present -- to the point that the town was informally named "the Biker Bar of the sub-Antarctic." To resolve this problem, the Kennyite navy arranged for military vessels to always be at port to refuel, as a means of deterring criminals. Additionally, the townspeople organized a local government and elected a sheriff.
In 1986, the Kennyite government recognized the local government of the town, now called Harper's Bay (supposedly named for Valerie Harper, since due to poor TV reception the sitcom Valerie was the only show the townspeople could get). Harper's Island also officially became a Kennyite territory. Nineteen years later, when the whole country moved from central Ameranta to the Antarctic Peninsula, just miles from Harper's Island, the tiny territory was absorbed into Marsh Islands. Of course, the residents were jubilant that now they were so close to the mother country, they might actually get some decent television to watch...or at least a Snickers bar from time to time. But then the occupiers showed up, and all the petty crime returned.
To help resolve issues with the protesters, who steadfastly refused to leave, the State Department's Office of WA Affairs hatched a scheme to allow the island residents a referendum on whether to become independent. On July 28, 2018, Harper's Island voted 992 to 34 to become a sovereign nation, which the Marsh Islands Legislature and the Federal Congress quickly approved. In return, the Harper's Bay council also voted to allow the Kennyite State Department to transfer the WA Affairs Office to the island, giving the Federal Republic a voice in the World Assembly without having to abide by WA mandates.
Government and status
Omigodtheyclonedkenny
In 2006, a bunch of filthy hippies with no jobs or prospects attempted to paper over their mediocrity by proclaiming themselves "rebels" against the "tyranny and oppression" of "the Fernanda regime," and sailing out to a little-known island on the outskirts of Omigodtheykilledkenny to establish a new nation, free from the Kennyites' "corporate dictatorship." The protest attracted modest media attention, and in all about 500 people managed to sign up to "occupy" Harper's Island. They renamed it "Nirvana Island," and designed a flag for it -- which was the subject of ridicule on the mainland, since it looked so much like one of the Federal Republic's variant flags. Kennyite commentators likened "Nirvana Island's" denizens to the mindless clones of the Star Wars franchise; Ann Coulter began to mock them as "Omigodtheyclonedkenny," and much to the chagrin of the occupiers, the name stuck.
Jurisdiction
One thing the protesters had overlooked was the fact that Harper's Island already had people on it -- Kennyite citizens, no less. This was swiftly sorted by passing out Nirvana Island "passports" to the townspeople and officially presenting a copy of their flag at town hall. When the town started to fly the flag ironically, the occupiers took it to mean they recognized Nirvana Island's sovereignty, and officially claimed Harper's Bay as part of the country. This also allowed the protesters to go into town for supplies "without crossing international borders," which they saw as a plus.
According to a resolution passed by the first occupation drum circle, Nirvana Island would respect no laws except as the World Assembly dictated. In a sense, they literally decided that the WA did need to "hold their hand for everything." The State Department eventually told them they would hold them to their word, and in 2009 "ceded" control of the island to the gnomes, as the setting of a proposed World Assembly spinoff chronicling the idiocy of WA laws in an actual community. Unfortunately, the show never got off the ground.
