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Kolandjrska (Kohlandia)

Kohlandian flag, Flyggen Vereini (Flag of the Union)

Motto:We can see your house from here
Anthem:Sterkere Kolandjrska
Kohlandia the Strong
Location Kohlandia Map
Map of Kohlandia.jpg
Area 1,038,012km2
% Water
Population 86,021,163 (2016 Census)
Density 77/km2
Capital Dunhallow
Type Federal Republic
President Alix_Trevørentsdottr
Legislature Perljamenten Vereini
Official Languages Thursian, Cuthrian, English
Currency Kohlandian Kwjd ("Quid") (KK)
Economic Structure Capitalism
GDP (2016) $1.86 Trillion
•  Per capita
Unemployment 22.1%
Gini 24.1
Life expectancy 70.12 years
Improved water access 92%
Literacy 98%
Enrollment 99%
•  Primary
99.2% (compulsory)
•  Secondary
99% (compulsory)
•  Tertiary
PDAS rating B-
Measures Metric
Date format day-month-year
Traffic Left-hand
ISO code KOL
TLD .kol
Calling code +292

The Federal Republic of Kohlandia is a small, equatorial nation in the East Pacific region; situated to the north of the continent of Arcturia, in the Christeas Sea off the coast of Bachtendekuppen. It is a federal nation comprising six member states: the former kingdoms of Thursus, Cuthria and Hegendrium and the Kjerne island colonies of Rhegdo, Thia and Skleed.

Kohlandia is notable for its compulsory military service and extensive space program. It is home to several world-famous businesses, including soft drink manufacturer April Kohla, and is notorious for its extensive use of Wood Pigeons, the Kohlandian national animal, in its tourism adverts.


Early History


Modern Kohlandia


A map of Kohlandia


The Lancean Party and the Foundation of Parliament

The Lancean Party is the oldest party, and has a reputation as being full of aged, stuck-in-the-past, rich landowners who don't care about the "average person". Despite this, they have won more elections than any other party in the nation's history.

Their name comes from the fact that they were originally formed by a group of Lancers in the People's Army that forced King Harold VI to sign the Parliament Act in 1502 (and thus the party can trace its history right back to the founding of Parliament itself).

Modern Kohlandian Politics

In modern Kohlandia, there are three primary parties in the Perljamenten Vereini (lit. The Union Parliament) and a handful of minor parties who generally have only a handful of representatives, at most.

The Perljamenten Vereini is the supreme lawmaking body of Kohlandia, responsible for all federal-level laws, foreign policy, economic policy and associated national level government functions. The only office that could be considered "higher" than the Perljamenten Vereini would be the office of the President of Kohlandia; who is mostly a figurehead in many respects but who does have the power to veto laws and, under certain circumstances, dissolve the Parliament and force a General Election.

Below the Perljamenten Vereini are the six Peljamenteni Reisiskå (lit. The Regional Parliaments). Each of the six member states of the Federal Republic of Kohlandia has its own regional Parliament, which governs on regional laws, regional taxation and other issues that have been devolved from the main, federal Parliament. The precise list of powers and areas of competence for each regional Parliament varies from member state to member state, which is a huge bone of contention in some circumstances (c.f. the Kjerne Island Question).

Aside from the Lancean Party, discussed above, the two main parties are:

The Republic Workers Party is the largest party by number of members. Formed during the Revolutionary War of 1878 to 1885, the party's name relates to it originally being the political wing of the Republican Revolutionary Workers Army. When they are not in power, chances are good that the RWP is forming the official Opposition in Parliament.

The Liberal-Green Alliance is the traditional "third option" in Parliament. It hasn't formed a government of its own since 1982 but did have an alliance with the RWP from 1990 to 1998 which kept the Lanceans from forming a minority Government.

The Kjerne Island Question and the Kjerne Island Independence Movement

Settlers from the area that later became Thursus first landed in the Kjerne islands in the late neolithic, colonising the Mærdi area first and spreading out from there to the other islands at indeterminate periods over the space of a century. As such, Thia has traditionally had strong ties with Thursus, although the link between the other islands and the mainland is not so clear.

The Kjerne islands were a collection of city states and self-governing micro nations during the majority of the Middle Ages, only coming under direct rule of the Kohlandian Crown during the reign of King Erjk VI Fjardinsson (1404 - 1417). During Erjk VI's reign, Kohlandia looked to build itself up into a large maritime power with strong overseas colonies; and although this did not go well, the King was able to quickly conquer and subdue the Kjerne nations. Prior to this, the Kjerne Islands were a mostly isolationist group; preferring to trade amongst themselves than with their larger neighbours.

Since the union with mainland Kohlandia, the islands have been regarded as part of the Kohlandian nation and their local rule as member states of the Federal Republic was directly noted as part of the Ripublijk Erklerunet (Declaration of the Republic) in 1885. Nevertheless, many Kjerne natives still see this isolationist period as the islands' golden age and view Kohlandian membership as a form of ongoing occupation by a foreign power. This feeling is exacerbated by the fact that the number of Kjerne Island representatives in the Perljamenten Vereini (the Union Parliament, the federal-level lawmaking body of the Republic) is very small compared to the other member states; coming to only one fifth of the total number of seats in the Parliament despite the islands totalling half of the Republic's member states.

Kar Perlje Mamusset (Lancean) raised this issue in the Union Parliament in 1923, asking then Sjef Heijenrusk Gijstafert: "The people of the Kjerne Islands make up one half of our nation, by both economic power as well as sheer numbers. While I note that at the signing of the Declaration of the Republic, the Kjerne Island population was much lower, this depletion was primarily as a result of both the Revolutionary War and the period of economic unrest that preceded it. These issues have, obviously, been redressed since then and not the islands are one of the most populous and economically vibrant in our nation. I therefore ask the Prime Minister this question: When will the importance of the Kjerne Islands be recognised in full by this institution?"

People and Culture


Kohlandia is a multilingual nation, with the vast majority of its inhabitants speaking Thursian, Cuthrian, English or a combination of these three national languages, at least to some extent. Official business of the Kohlandian Parliament, the Perljamenten Vereini, is conducted in Thursian but all official documentation is produced in all three languages.



For hundreds of years, regional pagan deities were worshipped in local communities across Kohlandia. Christian missionaries came to the islands for centuries but never found a real foothold, with at most 12% of the population claiming to follow Christianity in the oldest extant census, from 1704. Kohlandia's religious observance has never been strong. According to all census results from 1800 onward, attendance at mainstream religious events has been in steady decline.

Kohlandia embraced Wicca in the 1960s, following the publication of Gerald Gardener's Witchcraft Today, which was a huge success in the islands' main cities. With declining observance of traditional Kohlandian deities by 2015, A petition by the Kohlandian Grand Unified Coven to declare Wicca Kohlandia's national religion was successful. The National Religious Declaration Act 2015 gained Presidential approval on 8 January 2015.

National Holidays

Kohlandia is no stranger to national holidays, with one or more festival days traditionally happening per month in both Thursus and Cuthria prior to the unification. Over the centuries, many of the older holidays have either fallen out of favour or become combined with one-another into a larger festival. Several of the traditional festival days are still recognised in various parts of Kohlandia in the form of local festivals but these have no official standing.

The major Kohlandian national holidays (here defined as those days with state-sanctioned vacation time) are as follows:

  • New Year - 31 December to 2 January
  • Ijmbuk - Imbolc - Varies
  • Queen Eothria Day - 21 February
  • Östå - Easter - Varies
  • Independence Day - 18 March
  • Bijultan - May Day - 1 May
  • Lijva - Summer Solstice - Varies
  • Lamas - Harvest Day - 1 August
  • Mabån - Autumn Equinox - Varies
  • Vereinidaj - Union Day - 12 September
  • Skjowein - Halloween - 31 October
  • Jul - Yule - 20 December
  • Krjstmas - Christmas - 25 December

The Flag

Flyggen Vereini, the flag of Kohlandia

Flyggen Vereini (lit. "The Flag of Union"), the flag of Kohlandia, is a symbol of Kohlandia's heritage and the diversity of its people. The three background colours represent the three ancient kingdoms of Cuthria, Hegendrium and Thursus. The red lines are a stylised representation of the river Kohland and its numerous tributaries. The yellow bands around the red lines supposedly represent fields full of crops growing on the banks of the Kohland. The thin purple border between the red and yellow lines represent the Thursian farmers who first cultivated the Kohland region, prior to the arrival of the ancient Cuthrians.

Flag Artefact Theory

What the black border around the yellow lines represents is not always agreed upon. Some scholars argue that it represents the modern view of a separation of the Republic from its roots in the Old Kingdom, an argument born out of the fact that the border does not exist on older flags. Others argue that it is simply there as a by-product of the fact that the Republic's flag was built up from several photocopied pieces of paper. This is known as the "artefact" or "shadow on the copier" theory.

Notable People From Kohlandia

  • April Kohl, entrepreneur and inventor of the soft drink April Kohla
  • Hrothgar Kupper, author of 10 Reasons To Leave The Planet Today
  • Zoë Kirk, former President of Kohlandia
  • Penny Menace, political commentator and TV personality
  • Alix Trevørentsdottr, current President of Kohlandia
KohlandiaFlagSmall.png The Federal Republic of Kohlandia KohlandiaFlagSmall.png
Main article: Kohlandia
Important Topics: CultureThursianKohlandian WiccaKohlandian Space ProgramKohlandian Military
Government: Kohlandian ParliamentPresident of KohlandiaThe Lancean PartyRepublic Workers PartyLiberal-Green Alliance
Notable Kohlandians: Zoë KirkAlix TrevørentsdottrApril KohlPenny Menace
History: Kohlandia in PrehistoryEarly Thursian KingdomThursus-Cuthria UnionThe Kingdom of KohlandiaKohlandian Civil WarKohlandian Revolutionary War