|Motto: You bastards!|
|Anthem: "Blame Canada"|
|-||Founder's Day||February 11, 1785|
Teeming along the shores of the Antarctic Peninsula and neighboring ice shelves and islands thrives a veritable civilization of mindless zombies who have somehow acquired nuclear capability. Oh sure, anthropologists will try to tell you that these impossibly dimwitted creatures are actually human citizens of the NS nation of Omigodtheykilledkenny, but pay no mind to those granola-munching hippy "scientists" and their drug-addled "findings." We have always known that the only good Kennyite is a drunk Kennyite...or something like that. The truly frightening thing is that despite their cranial deficiencies and rogue tendencies, the Federal Republic remains a major world power, wielding significant influence in the World Assembly and the international arena, and continually pressuring allied nations to capitulate to sovereigntist tyranny, debase and ridicule international law, and aid in the wholesale slaughter of dolphins. They were even condemned for these actions, but neither they nor the rest of the world seem to care. They are a dangerous and destructive force in the world -- however unwittingly -- and their recklessness will inevitably breed disaster on a global scale. And that asteroid they accidentally sent hurdling toward the Earth is just the start of it.
No one knows exactly where the name Omigodtheykilledkenny came from, but the most widely accepted explanation comes from an 18th century folk tale about some dude named Kenny whom the Xtapolopaqetl accidentally killed by daring him to eat 100 marshmallow peeps, which expanded in his stomach until his abdomen ruptured, supposedly prompting the Kennyite revolt against their Xtap hosts. Whether true or not, the story has been a source of much racial division within the country, and consequently, both the nation's name and motto are widely considered racist today. Even using Kenny as your official team mascot is enough for the KFL to pull your trademark, as the Los Posas Dead Kennys would learn in 2009.
Thor founded Omigodtheykilledkenny in 1785, and people are still suing his estate over it 200 years later. The first Kennyites arrived on the shores of Mesoameranta in the mid-1770s, and were initially welcomed by the Xtapolopaqetl, who shared some of their finest wine with the weary settlers. Big mistake. Ten years later, the drunken Kennyites had overthrown the Xtap emperor and replaced his incompetent regime with an even more incompetent republic, and even worse, elected Thor as the first president. Luckily Thor had so thoroughly discredited himself after just five years in office that the voters were ready to run him out of town on a rail by the time the next elections came around. Thor was soundly defeated by his chief rival, Douglas Frowning (for whom Frowning Street is named), and spent his retirement writing angry letters to the editor and chasing kids off his lawn with a broom.
A series of inept presidents governed Omigodtheykilledkenny during the early 1800s and kept it isolated from the rest of the world. This period is known to the rest of the world as "the Golden Age." The Industrial Revolution transformed the country's major cities into cesspools of pollution and disease, sparking a Marxist-inspired popular insurgency in 1853 led by rogue Army General Borracho Villa. President Eli Jackson and the nation's corporate interests responded, extorting Villa's loyalty after learning he had a thing for teenage boys and swiftly crushing his rebellion. The aftermath of the Kennyite Civil War left the corporations firmly in charge of the country and its government. Omigodtheykilledkenny would soon involve itself in numerous foreign wars in order to protect corporate interests overseas, giving the nation a dubious reputation as an international bully.
The Kennyites were tricked into joining the Kaiserreich Wars in 1912 when an attractive girl-nation sweetly conned them into paying her ex-boyfriend-nation a visit in order to retrieve her stereo. Also around this time, a decades-long dispute with Aundotutunagir over the Molotov Islands began, eventually ending in profound embarrassment for both sides. During the 1938 War of the Worlds radio broadcasts, President Frank Kettle declared war on Mars. Obviously that was an overreaction, but it nonetheless fostered a national fascination with outer space. This was exposed as a massive lapse in judgment when Kennyite astronomers blew up the Moon in 1997. OK, so maybe they didn't literally "blow it up" when their nuclear space shuttle crash-landed in the Sea of Tranquility, but the Man in the Moon hasn't looked quite the same since.
Using secret means from more advanced foreign powers, the Federal Republic was forced to transfer the entire nation to the Antarctic in 2005 when seismologists predicted an inevitable geological catastrophe would leave most of Ameranta uninhabitable for decades. "The Destructor from Del Fuego, Mexico," Manuelo Fernanda came to power the same year, and began to subject the wider world to his own unique brand of sleaze, with greater engagement in the UN, bilateral diplomacy, and military intervention in the "terror havens" of Tiki Taki, Chechnya and The Eternal Kawaii. The world breathed a collective sigh of relief when Fernanda finally fell from power in 2012 -- until his successor Sammy Faisano proved even worse.
Reviled as a nuisance or even pariah state in some parts of the world, the Federal Republic is nonetheless considered a major power within key geopolitical spheres, most notably Antarctic Oasis and the World Assembly. And thanks to National Security Adviser Capt. Jenny Chiang's insistence on wiretapping fellow WA diplomats, and former "Ambassador" Susa Batko-Yovino's dirty habit of kidnapping them and even threatening their destruction from above using the Kennyites' (stolen) Death Star, numerous WA members have identified Omigodtheykillekenny as a rogue state or a dictatorship. The Kennyites are members of the United Nations Old Guard and the National Sovereignty Organization.
Yelda and The Palentine are the Kennyites' most important allies; both have been conferred with MFIA, or "Major Fucking Important Ally," status. The three together form the Unholy Trinity. The Federal Republic has also had close ties to Karmicaria, Ardchoille, Knootoss, NewTexas, Mousebumples, Douria, Cobdenia, and numerous others. Ties with Gruenberg were severed in 2014. The Kennyite Department of State supervises formal diplomatic relations with dozens of countries, as well as informal contacts with many others through either the World Assembly or the Antarctic Oasis Diplomatic Corps.
Within World Assembly politics, Omigodtheykilledkenny is recognized as the father of both the WA Headquarters and the WA General Fund, so naturally, reputed diplomats in that body have attacked the Kennyites for turning the WA into a heartless "slumlord" and a "tax collector." The Kennyites are notorious adherents to the "sovereigntist" faction of the General Assembly, and their first contribution to international law, the failed Repeal "Protection of Dolphins Act", permanently branded them dolphin-haters. They have since offered up dozens of other resolutions, many of which also failed—possibly due to their dubious reputation; we have no idea. A hitherto-unknown branch of the WA "condemned" Omigodtheykilledkenny; mainly for its "Creative Solutions Agency," which deliberately subverted the interpretation of international law, but also for dolphin-hatred and appointing a terrorist as its ambassador. In 2008, Kennyite voters bucked the country's political leadership and decided to "Kexit" from the WA via referendum, but top diplomats continue to indicate they are open to returning, if the WA reverses its controversial abortion and death-penalty policies.
The government's habitual invasions of foreign countries has yielded Omigodtheykilledkenny a number of overseas possessions, including a lonely island in the South Pacific and even a colony on Mars. The formerly sovereign countries of Tiki Taki and Thessadoria are now associated states of the Federal Republic. The island-nation of Boricuastan in the Tiberian Sea is a satellite state in all but name.
- Foreign affairs of Omigodtheykilledkenny
- Omigodtheykilledkenny and the World Assembly
- Condemn Omigodtheykilledkenny