SchutteGod and the World Assembly

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SchutteGod
World assembly.jpg Denmark.png
World Assembly membership
Membership Full member
Since 2008
Ambassador Dora Lee

SchutteGod has been an occasional participant in the World Assembly since shortly after its founding in 2008; it was also briefly a member of the WA's predecessor organization, the United Nations, for part of 2007. SchutteGod has no connection whatsoever to the Kennyites. It has sponsored one failed resolution and one passed (now repealed) resolution in the General Assembly.

History

Ambassador Shemp (front left), lobbying for sapient rights, 2008.

In May 2008, Ambassador Shemp #3, who had previously served as SchutteGod's ambassador to the UN, returned to UNHQ, now WA Headquarters, to present his credentials to the Secretary-General. By sheer coincidence, this happened the very same day of Omigodtheykilledkenny's very public and very petulant withdrawal from the WA, but since SchutteGod has no connection whatsoever to the Kennyites, it is just that: coincidence. At any rate, Shemp soon had a nervous breakdown on the General Assembly floor during the debate for his sponsored Sentients Rights Act, and SchutteGod was forced to resign. Omigodtheykilledkenny rejoined the WA the same day the Schutteans left -- leading some to wonder if they had ever seen the ambassadors from the two countries in the same room at the same time. (For the record, yes, they have.) SchutteGod returned in 2010 with Dora Lee as ambassador, replacing Shemp, who is still recovering at St. Schutte's Refuge for the Mentally Infirm.

Legislation

Sentients Rights Act

Sentients Rights Act
WA General Assembly resolution
Category Human Rights
Strength Significant
Proposed by SchutteGod
Status Defeated
Voting ended Wed Aug 6 2008
Votes For / Against 3,720 / 4,671

Also known as The Shut Up St Edmund Act of 2008, Shemp's Sentients Rights Act sought to address both sentience and sapience and enumerate rights for species in both categories. It was inspired by, and intended to ameliorate, St Edmund's constant interjections on the GA floor any time "persons" or "people" were mentioned (to wit: "But what about bears???!!!"). The debate for SRA was described as "a wall of idiocy," wherein the inimitably calm Schutteans were asked if they had a "major Prozac dependency."[1] As it turned out, however, their prescription had run out at exactly the wrong moment, for in the waning moments of the vote, Shemp would suffer from a massive mental break and have to be escorted out by men in white coats.

At the same time, the debate also featured one of the best brawls in UN/WA history, when a giant mechanical squid entered the assembly hall, only to be attacked by Glog, who heroically stabbed the beast, covering much of the GA floor in ink. Later on, Iron Felix's faithful dog Mister Jones rampaged through the assembly, mauling various opponents of the legislation, and having a run-in with Susa (who charged into the hall, curiously enough, right after Shemp had been escorted out).

See also

The Charter of Civil Rights

The Schutteans often take credit for "co-sponsoring" the landmark non-discrimination bill authored by the Urgenchi, but little evidence exists to verify the country's delegation was even present when it was written. A representative of Shemp simply allowed the khan to steal some lines from SchutteGod's UN Fairness and Equality Act. That's it. The Schutteans never attended the public drafting session or the floor debate. But as they aren't known for getting many resolutions passed, it's probably best just to let them have this one.

Ironically enough, COCR would have a detrimental effect on SchutteGod's future drafting efforts. Add to that the author's constant and annoying insistence that it resolves every inequity, real or imagined, within the NS-verse -- from sapient rights to marriage equality to inter-species marriage to the tyranny of Vladimir Putin -- and we don't know why SchutteGod insists on taking credit for it at all. Just some weird sense of national pride, we suppose.

See also

Crime and Punishment

A blocker to allow capital punishment after a death-penalty-friendly resolution was repealed in 2016, C&P is the first successful resolution chiefly sponsored by SchutteGod under the WA. However, it was repealed some two years after it passed.

See also

Other draft projects

With the exception of Crime and Punishment, SchutteGod's drafting efforts in recent years have been pretty much just one disaster after another. Proposals introduced after SchutteGod was readmitted to the World Assembly under Ambassador Lee include Abortion Rights Act, which was ruled illegal in 2011 -- even though the moderators would allow Reproductive Freedoms to vote three years later -- and Marriage Legality Convention, a gay-marriage blocker which was eventually neutralized by those pesky Kennyites' repeal of FOMA, which declares that marriage equality is protected by COCR. WA Nondiscrimination Act, another crack at sapient rights, was also struck down by the mods, ruling that COCR protects sapient rights as well -- even though they would allow Protection of Sapient Rights to vote the next year.

See also

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