Difference between revisions of "Antarctic Oasis Delegate Smackdowns"

Revision as of 20:50, 27 May 2018

The semiannual competition for the Regional Delegacy is a headlining event of the Antarctic Oasis region's social calender. The concept for an all-out contest for aspiring delegates, instead of the standard one-nation/one-vote election held in many regions, originates from the region founder's sadistic mind. It involves putting candidates through a series of mentally, physically and emotionally straining (or otherwise incredibly silly) roleplayed tasks, designed to test their fitness for office; they are usually played out by one or more of the competing nations' characters, and often relate to UN/WA affairs. These contests, held in June and December of each year, have been historically judged by the Unholy Trinity (currently Omigodtheykilledkenny, The Palentine and Yelda). The winner is entitled to serve a six-month term as delegate.

Rules

While the rules of the individual contests vary, there is a standard set of guidelines posted for nations desiring to run for delegate. These guidelines detail what qualifications and expectations candidates for delegate should meet. They are:

• You gotta be in the region and in the WA.

• You have to stay semi-involved on the WA forum.

• You have to announce your vote in Official Topic threads once in a while.

• You have to maintain a faithful voting record on WA resolutions.

• You have to keep up-to-date on WA business items regularly discussed on Jolt and off-site forums.

• You get to vote however you want on WA resolutions, but you have to let the region keep a record of your voting history on NSwiki.

• You have to commit a little time to participating in the roleplay. If you flake on us, you probably won't be selected.

• Your term will be roughly six months, with the option of serving another six-month term at the end of this one, but the founder can remove you from office at any time, for cause. There is no due process, right to remain silent, impeachment, judgment, appeal or anything else, either. The founder's word is law. So behave yourself.

Delegate Pageant

• Competing Nations: Gruenberg*, Kivisto, Cluichstan

What was billed as the "second" semiannual competition for the delegacy was actually the region's first such contest. The first "first" competition was canceled in December 2005. The June 2006 event held in Paradise City was a variety show, with sketches inspired by game shows such as The Dating Game and American Idol. The consensus of the judging nations was that relative newcomer Kivisto had won on points (since it was the only nation to complete all of the assigned tasks), but that Gruenberg, having finished in a strong second-place showing, was more qualified for the post. Gruenberg served as delegate until December 2006.

Links

• 2nd Semiannual Regional Delegate Pageant Roleplay thread

2006 Delegate Election

• Competing Nations: Kivisto*, Karmicaria, Retired WerePenguins

Elections were set to determine the holder of the delegacy after Gruenberg declined a second term in December 2006. This was the first time that a regionwide vote on anything took place, and instead of governments casting a single vote -- as in most regional elections -- the voters of participating nations got to decide, with one, not insignificant catch: no one ever said the winner of the election got to be delegate. (Admittedly, the Kennyites only said that in case Retired WerePenguins came in first.) Luckily, the Kivistans trounced their opponents in the debate in Flurthwel, and went on to finish 1.1 billion votes ahead of everybody.

Results

Candidate	Nation	Nations won	% of vote	Votes
Oskar Feldstein	Kivisto	7	46.7%	5,741,608,488
Dahlia Black	Karmicaria	3	37.6%	4,621,615,895
Flash Blonde	Retired WerePenguins	3	15.5%	1,902,405,092
Others	(various)	0	0.2%	24,218,028

Links

• 3rd Semiannual Regional Delegate Smackdown The debate
• Election Night in Antarctic Oasis The returns

The Amazing Race

• Competing Nations: Kivisto*, Karmicaria, Complete Malevolence

Kivisto became the first delegate to announce for a second term in June 2007, as contenders for the prize embarked on a worldwide quest (totally ripped from the reality TV show The Amazing Race) that took them to exotic locales throughout the NS multiverse, including the terror-besieged Ausserlander embassy in Paradise City, the United Nations Strangers' Bar, a Klöllen-hunting collective in Yelda, even Empress Jhessan's bedroom. Karmicaria was forced to withdraw after the first round, and Complete Malevolence seemed speedier than the rest, finishing first. But the judges said Kivisto won on points, allowing the creepy bastards to serve out till the end of the year.

Links

• Antarctic Oasis' Amazing Race! Roleplay thread

Keeping Up with Julius

During Lord Julius' competition, the region was introduced to Felix's "vice delegate" candidate Mister Jones.

• Competing Nations: Iron Felix*, Omigodtheykilledkenny, Douria, Zarquon Froods, Quadalingo, Bloodstone Kay

In the first delegate contest not significantly planned by the Kennyites, The Palentine decided to host junior diplomats from across the region in The 'Burgh. Their job would be to apprentice to Prime Minister Lord Julius for a month in December 2007, in the reality TV show Keeping Up with Julius (loosely based on the VH1 series Surviving Nugent). Candidates were asked to perform a variety of tasks to prove their diplomatic mettle, including analyzing and finding loopholes in UN legislation, stealing olives from the Strangers' Bar, finding an enemy for Gruenberg to invade, fooling the disengaged Emperor Spaulding into signing state documents, even inciting a terror scare or two. Famed Yeldan UN representative Felix Dzerzhinsky (who had hired some help) was eventually chosen, but not before he was nearly blown up at the contestants' townhouse, and chased out of town dressed as Hitler.

Links

• Keeping Up with Julius Roleplayed contest
• At the Townhouse Non-contest RP

2008 Regional Primaries

• Competing Nations: Douria*, Cobdenia, The Evil Smurfs, The Palentine, Zarquon Froods

With members of the region having passed nine UN resolutions that year, only to have all of them nullified by the World Assembly, Iron Felix had had enough by the end of his term in June 2008. His retirement prompted nations to announce for the contest to replace him; five of them would go on to challenge each other in a drawn-out primary showdown to put that year's protracted Hillary-Obama standoff to shame. After a five-week battle, three nations -- Douria, Cobdenia and the Evil Smurfs -- were in striking distance of clinching the nomination. Douria won the final three contests handily, putting that nation over the top.

Douria resigned the delegacy two months later, allowing Snefaldia to serve out the rest of its term.

Results

Candidate	Nation	Nations won	Delegate votes	% of vote	Votes
Robert Dylan	Douria	9	2,313	37%	7,794,562,826
Mackenzie van Dijk	Cobdenia	5	1,127	22%	4,544,931,762
Botschafter Smurf	The Evil Smurfs	2	862	14%	2,972,774,325
Horatio Sulla	The Palentine	---	---1	19%	3,987,718,711
Sintar Maxem	Zarquon Froods	---	69	4%	811,621,234
Others	(various)	---	6	4%	795,856,474

¹ Horatio Sulla of The Palentine dropped out of the race and committed his 124 Delegate Votes to Douria.

Links

• Delegate Sweepstakes '08! Roleplay thread

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World Assembly!

Similar to the situation above, the Leicestershirians' Weinermobile was run off the road in Lubberland and crashed into a Gay Porn Expo (the venue for which we assume was more hilariously ass-shaped).

• Competing Nations: Cobdenia*, New Leicestershire

The region's leaders again converged on Paradise City in December 2008 to decide upon a successor for Snefaldia, which had declined a second term. Taking an idea from a couple classic movies, President Fernanda announced a race across the region to retrieve a hefty cash prize from somewhere in the then-not-yet-completed WA Headquarters. The competitors from New Leicestershire and Cobdenia were the only ones actually seeking the regional delegacy, but a couple Kennyites and Palentines were also along for the ride, to cause a little extra trouble. None of the racers ever made it past Murrayland, and the Cobdenians were lost somewhere near the Kennyite border, but their government had supplied the biggest bribe, so they were declared the winners.

A follow-up competition, this one a maritime race, was scheduled for summer of 2009, but was subject to so many unexplained delays by its intended host, Gruenberg, that it was eventually canceled. Krioval was subsequently named Cobdenia's successor.

Links

• It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World Assembly!

2012 Regional Primaries

• Competing Nations: Zarquon Froods*, Murray the Evil Skull, Krioval, Hiriaurtung Arororugul

A lot had happened since the Smackdowns began to drift apart back in '09...most blamed the breakup on the WA's jumping the shark around that time; that's when some members of the group started branching out to do "solo projects." Eventually, folks forgot about the group's past successes, and their alums were subject to occasional mocking and ridicule as "geriatric fossils" past their prime. The group hadn't played together in over three years when its founder Omigodtheykilledkenny unexpectedly announced a Reunion Tour in April 2012, and 12 nations eagerly signed up to host events. It was a bumpy road (so to speak) for the reunited Smackdowns: the bus kept breaking down, "the heartthrob" Henrik Søgård (owing to domestic troubles) failed to show for any events, "the tough guy" Hiriaurtung Arororugul pulled out of the tour the first week, and several events were either canceled or abandoned. But in the end, the writer of this article had to dispense with the silly rock-band metaphor, and Sintar Maxem of Zarquon Froods won the 2012 Delegate Smackdown, edging out second-place finisher Susa Batko-Yovino by 617 "Delegate Votes."

Though the competition was organized as a rehash of the '08 primary elections, no popular vote was reported this time.

Results

Candidate	Nation	Nations won	Delegate votes	% of vote
Sintar Maxem	Zarquon Froods	5	1,557	53%
Susa Batko-Yovino	Not sanctioned	2½	940	32%
Murray the Evil Skull	None	1	364	12%
Henrik Søgård	Krioval	2½	84	3%
Hiriaurtung Arororugul	Aundotutunagir	0	0	0%

Søgård and Batko-Yovino tied in Alqanian Antarctica, so they are both listed as "half-winners" there.

Who Wants to Marry an Empress?

Who indeed?

Palentine's part in the primaries, in which Empress Jhessan treated the candidates like potential suitors for her hand, was intended to be expanded into a full spin-off series (and the delegate competition for 2013), dubbed Who Wants to Marry an Empress? However, it was canceled due to lack of response, and Retired WerePenguins named the next Delegate. Nine months later, in February 2014, RWP departed the delegacy in a mutual agreement with the founder, during a controversy over the resolution Reproductive Freedoms. Bloodstone Kay, the vice delegate, automatically assumed the delegacy and held the office for over three years. In 2017, after a brief interim period, Krioval was once again named delegate.

Links

• Whose Lie Is It Anyway? Roleplay thread

Who Wants to Marry an Empress? mk. 3

• Competing Nations: The Imperial States, Omigodtheykilledkenny (2), The Palentine (2), Retired WerePenguins

An unofficial "Smackdown" contest, in which Jhessan yet again advertised her hand in marriage to whichever suitor could impress her most, was held at the Imperial Court in The Palentine, beginning in August 2017. At least five suits were declared, from Alex Tehrani, Kennyite diplomat and longtime friend of the court; Prince Anthony of the Imperial States, an agent of scheming parents who wanted a foothold at court; Captain Baron Blonde of Retired WerePenguins; Galen St. Croix, a Palentine nobleman and Jhessan's longtime sparring partner; and Perfecto Solis, a Kennyite expatriate living in The 'Burgh. After having the candidates mingle with important figures within the country -- particularly the Imperial Mother, who was insistent on marriage -- and spend some quality time with her tenacious youngsters (who are perhaps a little too cavalier about dangerous scientific experiments), Solis was chosen. Jhessan's dramatic announcement, coinciding with Antarctic Oasis Day 2018, reportedly prompted her mother to take to the hard stuff.

Links

• I'm getting married in the morning... Roleplay thread