Kennyites
 | |
| Total population | |
|---|---|
| Omigodtheykilledkenny | ~3 billion |
| Other countries | ~500 million |
| Regions with significant populations | |
| Mostly countries within Antarctic Oasis and its sphere of influence | |
| Languages | |
| English, Spanish | |
| Religion | |
| Protestantism, Roman Catholicism, Cuauhtemocism; less than 5% other religions and unaffiliated | |
Kennyites are citizens of the NS nation Omigodtheykilledkenny. Contrary to popular belief, they are not stupid. They're just "learning intolerant." They're not uneducated, they just don't need no thought control. They're not violent, just "physically expressive." They're not arsonists, just pyrophiliacs. They're not terrorists, just "exuberantly explosive." So take all your negative racial stereotypes and shove them. Kennyphobia is a disease.
History
Little is known about who the Kennyites were, where they came from, or if there were any outstanding arrest warrants against them when they washed up on the shores on Ameranta in the late 1770s. That they were pilgrims in search of a better life is certain, that they had originally settled in Knootoss but got the hell out of there when their kids started speaking Dutch instead of English is questionable, that they had escaped religious persecution at the hands of the dreaded "Killer Prostitutes" of the "Nath Nath Death Cult" -- as their drunk and delusional leader Thor claimed in his journals -- is almost certainly false. Thor's accounts are so nonsensical, in fact, that historians don't have a clue which country the Kennyites had originally departed from in the mid-18th century, really. Theories of origin ranging from a New Leicestershirian pirate fleet to Imperium Anglorum missionaries to the lost colony of Roanoke have been batted around for centuries, but none have been proven.
Thor and his band of pilgrims were introduced to the Xtapolopaqetl natives shortly after their arrival in their new world, and the two peoples coexisted peacefully until 1785, when the settlers finally grew tired of all the natives' dick jokes and staged a raid on the Xtap capital and thereafter established themselves as the rulers of the country, which they renamed Omigodtheykilledkenny.
During the coup and especially afterward, the Kennyite settlers found out that they didn't really like each other that much -- and in fact openly despised each other in many cases -- so they quickly tribalized into the first states of Omigodtheykilledkenny: Kennsylvania, Marsh Islands, Cartman Keys, Nueva Jorge, Thorland and the District of Pacifica, and the Xtap stronghold of Santa Califia.
