Political parties of Omigodtheykilledkenny

Omigodtheykilledkenny is a multiparty democracy dominated by two main parties wielding a veritable monopoly of power and influence over government -- while a bunch of other little "third" parties mostly just take up space on the ballot. The center-right God-fearing Freedom-loving Conservative Patriot Party (longform for the Conservatives) holds a slight edge over the center-left Pansy-ass Liberal Hippy Treehugger Party (Liberals) both in the Federal Congress and the electoral college. And before you ask, yes, those are the actual names of the two major parties. There is also a Kennyite Green Party, which mostly bitches about corporate welfare and routinely calls for the impeachment of everybody; a Kennyite Libertarian Party, which stubbornly refuses to die despite everything they stand for already being made the law; and a so-called Federal Constitution Party, which calls for an end to all international economic and military commitments and pretty much thinks the only good use for the federal government is to bully minorities.

History

It is a common misconception that the wild-eyed, cowboyish Thor founded the Conservative Party, while his more sober and competent successor Doug Frowning founded the Liberals. Although Frowning's policies were more liberal than Thor's, the actual party did not get its start until 1818, when the druggie President Joseph Morrison secretly formed a congressional coalition against his wife's radical temperance policies. The only problem was that Morrison kept relapsing after enacting more lenient drug laws, allowing his wife to take control and reverse his actions. Mrs. Morrison remained a popular figure after her husband left office; in 1831 while attending the convention for the National Association for Sensible Temperance Youth, she met young Assemblyman Eli Jackson, and by the year's end, the two had brought together a coalition of politicians and activists committed to promoting conservative policies.