Ann Coulter
| This page is a work in progress by its author(s) and should not be considered final. |
| Ann Coulter | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Born |
December 8, 1961 New York, New York, USA |
| Residence | Paradise City |
| Nationality | American-Kennyite |
| Co-conspirator | Jack Riley |
| Profession | (In place of a Dark Lord) a Queen, not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Dawn, etc. |
| Religion | Church of Reagan |
This article deals with Ann Coulter as it relates to NationStates. For more general information, see the Wikipedia article on this subject.
Ann Hart Coulter is an American-Kennyite commentator, author, columnist, lawyer and troll. She began her career in the United States, but in 2005, after a run-in with Yeldan scientists on an interstellar mission, she was marooned in Omigodtheykilledkenny, where she's been making money off of gullible Kennyite readers ever since.
United States
In most countries where Coulter is a household name, she is mainly known for her career as an American commentator, where she did all sorts of wacky things, like call John Edwards a "f****t" (fact check: he deserved it), write an entire book defending McCarthyism, trash 9/11 widows like the "Jersey Girls", repeatedly pronounce the Iraq War as a "spectacular success", and hate on John McCain to the point of threatening to campaign for Hillary Clinton if he won the 2008 primaries.[1] One of her favorite sayings was, "There are many bad Republicans; there are no good Democrats." She liked to defend her harsh treatment of lefties by noting that "Some of my best friends are liberals." (Point in fact, she actually did have a lot of liberal buddies, including Bill Maher, who had to admonish his studio audience to "be nice" to her whenever he brought her on his show.) The satirical cartoon show The Boondocks once surmised, only half-jokingly, that Coulter was merely posing as a conservative on TV, because, in "her" words, "A b*tch got books to sell.... Ain't no money in trying to save the world!"[2]
Introduction to NS world
And so it happened one night that the infamous conservative politico was visiting a quiet Wisconsin graveyard to place flowers on Joe McCarthy's grave, when a team of Yeldan scientists, hovering overhead in an interstellar spacecraft, spotted the Skeletor-esque figure and concluded she had to have been reanimated somehow. Naturally, they beamed her aboard to inquire as to Earthlings' reanimation capabilities, and when she herself had been reanimated. A gravely insulted Coulter refused to dignify their bizarre queries with response, accusing them of working for MSNBC and demanding they drop her off at the nearest blood bank so that she may feed on the blood of the innocent. Over the next few days, Coulter proved such a nuisance to the crew that the captain eventually ordered her vaporized. Of course, she vehemently objected to this, and persistently argued with the captain until he relented, telling her, "Fine, we won't kill you. But we will do the next-best thing!" Before Coulter could ask what he meant, he'd already pushed a button, and the next thing she knew she'd been stranded in Omigodtheykilledkenny. She took a few looks around and thought, "Well, a b*tch still got books to sell!"
The Federal Republic
Coulter is the author of several nonfiction bestsellers exclusive to the NS world, including Final Solution: Why a Million Liberals at the Bottom of the Ocean Can Best Be Described as "A Good Start" and They're Liberals! They're Terrorists! Stop, You're Both Right! In her columns and cable-TV commentary, she has stoutly defended the administrations of Manuelo Fernanda and Sammy Faisano, despite both presidents' respective sex scandals, asserting: "I don't think I've ever advocated that a president step down over something as silly as oral sex with interns!" She spoke strongly in favor of Fernanda's re-election in 2010. Some of Coulter's fellow commentators have speculated that her inexplicable defense of a moral degenerate and sex offender like Fernanda stems from romantic feelings she supposedly has for him, but frankly the notion is as sexist as...this entire article, really.
After once deriding Xtapolopaqetl-heritage Ambassador Susannah Batko-Yovino as a "Muslim terrorist wh*re", Coulter was cursed by a prominent Xtap chieftain, who called her a witch and declared that "unquestionably" she was the living embodiment of Malasqata, their ancient goddess of death and destruction.
She has been romantically linked to Jack Riley.
